Wednesday, July 31, 2013

A short note to Sanaa, Layla, and my future daughter-in-law

I'm writing this post to Sanaa, Layla, and my future daughter-in-law (if Malakai chooses to get married). I don't really have time today to sit down and write since Sanaa, Layla, and I leave for Guatemala in two days. I have mountains of laundry to finish, meals to prep for Nate and Malakai, and some packing to do. I don't think packing will take long since I have most of the clothes already packed.

However, I need to get this off my mind.

Yesterday a mom made a comment to me that rubbed me the wrong way. Normally I don't think I would have been annoyed by the comment but for some reason yesterday I was really bothered by her comment.

I was talking with another mom about consignment stores and sales. She mentioned a store where she takes the items her kids have outgrown and I mentioned that I usually take my stuff to a week long consignment sale. If you take your items to a consignment store, they will price and tag your items for you. However, if you choose to do a consignment sale that runs anywhere from 3 days to a week, you have to price, tag, drop off, and pick up all your items yourself. It's a lot of work. I mentioned to the other mom that I've chosen to do the consignment sales because you receive more of the profit from the sale of your items then you would if you took it to a store. (For example, at a consignment sale you might receive 70%-80% of what an item sells for instead of 50%-60% from a store. But that varies among all the different stores and sales.)

I honestly don't care what people choose to do because they do what works for them. But the mom I was talking to said, "Oh, but you have so much more time that I do and I just can't do a sale."

This mom works full time outside of her home and has two children. Her oldest is Sanaa's age and her youngest is about 5 or 6 months old (about 8 months younger than Malakai). She knows that I stay at home and do not work outside of the home.

I didn't respond to her comment but in my mind I was rather upset at her assumption that because I stay home full time I have "so much more time" on my hands.

I've heard and read "war" stories between working moms and stay at home moms. Each thinks their job is harder than the other one. But I disagree. Whether you're a mom that works outside of the home or one that stays home, both are hard, difficult, stressful, and tiring in their own way. I wish we would stop comparing whose job is harder and just get along.

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To, Sanaa, Layla, and my future daughter-in-law,

Whatever you chose to do in life I want you to know that I will support you 100%. If you decide to work outside of the home when you have children, you do it! If you decide to stay home with your children, you do it! There is no correct way to raise a family and each family has to make their own decision as to what is best for their family. There are pros and cons to staying home and there are pros and cons to working outside the home. You'll most likely second guess whatever decision you make. But as long as you pray about your decision, God will lead you down the path he has for you.

Once you make your decision, please don't judge other moms that have made a different decision. God leads all of us differently and has a plan for each of us. I also don't want you to take the comments of other moms personally in regards to the decision you have made. That is easier said than done. Some days those comments won't bother you one bit but the next day that same comment could rub you the wrong way and leave you angry. If a comment does bother you, call me and I'll do my best to reassure you! If anything I can at least listen as you blow off steam.

Right now Sanaa you are only 5, Layla you are 3, and Malakai you are only 13 months so the idea of you all being grown up with kids seems like it's a life time away. But I'm sure it'll happen before I know it.

I love you all a ton!
Mommy

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

To help those who need training in this area:
http://www.education.com/slideshow/offending-words-sahm/
Papa Gene