Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day Fail

So tomorrow is Mother's Day. I got Rosa gifts (no spoilers since she hasn't received them yet), but I wanted to do more for her.

So today I worked. When I got home from work and we were all eating dinner, I told the girls that after dinner, mommy was going to go into her room and lock the door. Then, I would clean up, give everyone a bath, and put everyone to bed.

Rosa raised an eyebrow. She wasn't expecting this but was pleasantly surprised.

In fairness, I've done this before. When Rosa has flute practice I routinely do this sort of thing so that she can get to practice on time.

My intentions were good.

She went into her room. I got Malakai and Layla into their baths and washed them both. Sanaa was laying on the ground nearby because she wasn't feeling well.

Then the following 4 things happened within about 60 seconds.

1. As I was rinsing conditioner out of Layla's hair, Malakai lunged out of the bathtub headfirst and landed with a thud on the floor. He promptly started screaming.

2. I grab him, figuring I should just towel him off and get him dressed, when I realize I hadn't gotten a diaper or clothes for him yet. Wrapping him in a towel, I walked to his bedroom to get a diaper.

3. I felt a warm liquid on my body, and realized that my son has peed on me for the first time.

4. As this is happening, I hear "Daddy, I'm cold! Daddy, I'm cold!" I realize that Layla has climbed out of the bathtub and is standing butt naked and dripping wet on the carpet. I start to dry her with one hand, and Malakai, realizing that Daddy is taking too long to dress him, starts howling. Layla, not to be outdone, starts crying because Malakai is crying.

At this point, I said without even thinking, "I CAN'T DO THIS!!"

This prompted Rosa to leave the bedroom, see the scene before her, realize that her little break was over far too soon, and promptly laugh so hard that she cried.

Happy Mother's Day, Rosa. The house would burn to the ground without you.

Seriously. It really would burn. To the ground.

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